Sunday, 5 December 2010

So bloody cross.

(Parental Advisory: the following blog may cause offense to those of a sensitive nature!)

Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Shit! Shit! Shit! Bollocks! Bollocks! Bollocks!
Bollocks! Bollocks! Bollocks! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Shit! Shit! Shit!
Shit! Shit! Shit! Bollocks! Bollocks! Bollocks! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!
…. Recurring. 

After weeks of training and refraining from drinking much last night I was prepared.
£14 paid upfront for the entry fee. I was excited.Bike prepped. Everything sorted. The weather seemed to be holding out and we made an early start - on the road 4½ hours before the race. What could possibly go wrong?

50miles into our journey (and still this side of the Cornish Border) and we had the chance to admire the flora and fauna of the A30’s hard shoulder for 2 f**king hours. We eventually started crawling forward to be told by a policeman that we had to turn back the way we came. The mother fricking  A30 was now closed! There were two options.

Option One - take a detour. At the point of hitting the traffic we had under 60miles to go. But the detour would mean at the very least 90+ miles through the centre of Plymouth with only 1½ hr before the start of the race.

Option two – f**k there was no option two. So much for the South of England Cross Championship…. Instead there were just two very cross people in a yellow car heading back towards Penzance. There was not a cat in hells chance that we would make it.

Fuck Shit Bollocks!


Simon said...

Ah bollocks, what a nightmare :(

And to think that you shaved your legs for nothing ;-)

Hopefully there will be no such problems when we go to the league finale, I'm really looking forward to that.

trio said...


Old Relic said...

Quelle pisser as they say en France! Any idea what the closure was for?

Rich said...

I think you were quite restrained considering the circumstances.

Mullerton said...

soddin car drivers crashing into each other and closing an entire dual carriageway

... and with it my dreams


Old Relic said...

Feck, arse, Bollocks etc.!

al said...

What a big fat dogs cock of a day!!

On a less miserable note, i've had a lovely day. mainly because i don't ride a bicycle and have been filling my face with grub all day.

Racing's for loosers anyway Mikey.


ps Paris was lovely, thank you ;-)

Mullerton said...

Alan, i love your comments, it's like a spiritual role model i cling to. dropping bombs of wisdom. if only i was as cosmopolitan as you, mincing around gay Paris et toit.

Anonymous said...

You didn't get the bike and ride to the event then me and Ale would of !!!!!

Anonymous said...

Should of gone skating with us

Mediocre Pete said...

Michael, I'm going to ask you a question and I want you to be perfectly honest. You're amongst friends now.

Are you using steroids?

There. i said it. I think you need help. Group intervention.

Simon said...

It would certainly explain the anger. And also why he is so bloody fast.

Come on Michael, are you going to come clean?

Mullerton said...

Pete, thanks for caring. is this going to be a group intervention? i don't want you all turning up on my doorstep.

If i were on drugs it wouldn't be steroids, so last year, tainted meat is where it's at.

since when have i been fast, flattery..