Wednesday, 28 July 2010

I Hate Your Bike. pt1

In theory, every bicycle is a wonderful thing.  However some bicycles just need to be ridiculed and mocked.  For this reason, I've decided to start a new column so anyone can recommend their suggestions for the above title.

My first entry is the Specialized Tricross.  (I'm not just taking an easy pop at Spesh because they're who they are.  I've had several Specialized bikes over the years and they make some very nice bikes.)  Unfortunately, the Tricross seems to have attracted every limpwristed, indecisive, half witted rider. 
In the last month I have seen so many such people riding to John O'Groats on Tricrosses.  Many have been in our shop, 10 miles in, all needing some type of fixing. Usually they have an Evans sticker on.  People phone me, asking for a cross bike. I quiz them if they want one for racing or riding off road.  They always answer "well I'll mainly be riding on road but I'd like to use it off road too".  Further into the conversation it turns to, just riding on road, just commuting really.  A little further on they quietly say " do you have anything like a Tricross?"
Be bold, make a decision.  Buy a hybrid, buy a tourer, buy a cyclocross bike. You're not a Free-roader. The genre does not exist other than in a Specialized catalogue.  Multi-road is not a type of bicycle either.  Besides those forks are jawdroppingly hideous.
As Grant would say, MTFU and decide on one bike, not a half arsed amalgamation of four.


Anonymous said...

Trouble sleeping at the moment Mike,hope you won't be taking it out on us as well.

al said...

I like the new 'have a pop at crap bikes' Mikey!

I've got a garage full of them.

ps just bought another classic car!! Don't hate me, i'm like you, only a little odder.


Simon said...

I sold 2 today

VeloCake said...

Simon, I'll wager you £5 that when one comes back for it's first service they'll ask for better brakes. You should then shout at them that it's supposed to be a cross bike and therefore it should have crap brakes, and they should have bought a normal road bike.

Alan, do you want me to ghost write the "every bike since 1998" and the "every bike gary fisher has made" sections for you?

Tom said...


Simon said...

I think they're planning to ride to John O'Groats. I'll make sure to give them directions to the Cycle Centre :)

badger dave said...

I have a singlecross :(

to be fair i only bought the frame and put half decent kit on it. still can't ride for toffee but it does go offroad